I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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