I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
