All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
