Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
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