I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Randomize
