Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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