Her vagina should come with caution tape.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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