Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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