You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
After tacos, we're chasing women.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
