the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
