Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
