its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
