I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
