Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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