I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
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She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
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She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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