when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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