DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
there is glitter all over my balls
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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