I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
