i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
