listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize