does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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