Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize