When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
