Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
