Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize