I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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