the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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