it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
