please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
