She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
