this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
