how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Mom said you looked used
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
