I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
