Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
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