girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
