Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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