he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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