Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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