I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
So vagazzling was a success
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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