Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize