I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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