That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
