Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
