she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize