you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
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Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
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Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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