Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
