He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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