Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize