I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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