U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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