Kareoke will never be a sober sport
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
