yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize