the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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