1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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