ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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