the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
