I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
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I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
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I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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