I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
