If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
