Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
The adults are the big ones right?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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